The memories keep flooding my mind, making me smile, making me laugh.

From early on, being my friend and providing space to grow my business...later, moving me to the library when he needed his space back! 😃

Remembering the many hours of testimony taken in legal cases and the amazing extent of his knowledge and expertise.

Remembering how he introduced me to snow skiing in the Rocky Mountains.  Remembering after two days of ski school, he took me to the top of the mountain, assuring me that the treacherous slopes we were passing as we rode the ski lift were NOT the slopes we would ski down.  (Duh!! Only one way down!)

Beware the polished skier who finds humor in seeing you crash and burn!

Remembering countless nights of dinner or simply an impromptu visit, when he would leave his wife, my friend, to stay and talk far into the night.  He knew she was in good hands.

Remembering him buying a new car and later driving it to the highest hill to listen to music blaring from the new speakers.  Or better yet, years before, driving up in a van...with music blaring from the speakers!  Apartment neighbors aside, it was fun for me! 😉

Tom enjoyed life!

Remembering a blazing fireplace in a restaurant in Colorado and listening to Tom recite the history of Steamboat Springs.  Tom's humor was never so evident as when he ad-libbed a hysterical list of events flowing endlessly from that brainy brain!

The memories are endless.  I cannot do him justice.  I love you, Tom Hardin, and may God hold you close!

Thomas Wesley Hardin

October 3, 1944 - December 11, 2016

 

  

Power in Me

There are churning waves of fire in the deepest parts, angrily pushing upward to its freedom.  It cannot be denied, nor can it be quenched.  The eruption is dramatic, full of fury and power, and the sheer magnitude of its force is agonizingly beautiful, powerful...and dreadful.

The tulip root, having been secured in its depth, now pushes upward, producing a burst of color and delicacy in its petals, and the result is beautiful and calming, easy on the eyes.

Two forces, two results, and the mystery of both are equal but with opposite influence...one producing fear and the other peace.

Rumblings and rumors of war appear again on the horizon, this time with higher capacity to kill and destroy.  Fear raises its head and bellows its power!

Political backlash and demoralizing chatter fill our ears and sight as all media are consumed with the power of influence.  Our own leaders battle, and hateful division consumes social media.  Misplaced power corrodes the simple but embellishes the wicked. 

"It brings out the untraveled circumstances which no one has experienced before and no one knows the outcome." ~ T. Brewer

The divide among races seem to loom large again, the breach wider and just as painful, just as ugly.  The power of injustice wields a flogging that reaches beyond the victim, eventually bringing the inequity home.    

Hatred is powerful.

Hatred is fear.

And we, the children of God stand in the middle of chaos and why do we fear?

What if we stopped envisioning color, or lack thereof, but filled our sight with a valuable, lovable soul created and loved by the Lord?  The power would then be God's.

What if we used reasoning, supported by love, to discuss calmly differences and beliefs?  What if we honestly cared about others?

Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels.  And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness.  God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.  ~ 2 Cor. 2:23-26

What if we lived and spoke what we believe, with faith strong and secure, loving our neighbor as ourselves, letting the Word be our whole being, our ultimate power?

What if we loved like God loves?

Oh, then the Power would be in me! 

Unlovable

The deepest hurt can follow you throughout a lifetime.  Without thought or intention, you instinctively push down the hurt over and over, hoping the squashing will somehow destroy memories, will erase, will smother any emotions associated with it.

And you go on.

The years pass and the hurt is always there just waiting to surface and consume.  You finally realize how that hurt, that one hurt, has affected your entire life.  

Feeling inadequate, outside the circle, always desperate to fit in, to be liked...to be included...to be accepted, you put on your mask and assume an air of some kind of normal.  But normal is what you are not.  You left that long ago.

Reaching above yourself, you strive to accomplish a life of worth.  A plastered smile on your face, you cover up the hurt done to your psyche and you try to leave it behind.  But like a bite too large to swallow, your throat constricted and in pain, keeping the distasteful past tamped down gets harder and harder.

And no one knows.  But God.

But trust in God had been replaced.  A conviction that you've developed on your own, that the reality is you are a damaged, broken and shattered being that no one can love...no, not even God.

Perhaps a rule of life or not, something eventually triggers the deepest prison of your heart and you cannot tamp down any longer.  Emotions spill out and you sob out the secret, the root of your misery...and even though you have whimpered your sadness to God many times, sharing aloud this dark part of your life is soul cleansing!

The most difficult part of sharing your past is realizing what you believed to be forgiveness on your part is in truth lacking or even false.  Forgiveness is essential for letting go of the past, even if the hurt has led you down difficult and yes, sinful, life.  Forgiveness for yourself, forgiveness for the one or ones who inflicted your pain and damaged your self-worth is difficult to achieve but necessary.  It is in forgiveness that you can truthfully go before the Lord, believing that He is the only source of your self-worth...oh, what freedom comes with that realization!

"God can use anyone’s situation, but He uses you to the fullest when you let go of the past.”

(Christa Bassettt; Isa. 43:18-19)

May God forgive me for not forgiving earlier, for not using my sorrow in a way to show His light, His goodness, His love, His GRACE!  For not admitting to the world that I have no worth in myself, but only through Jesus Christ who makes me the worthiest person of all...being God's child!

Footnote:

An article surfaced today that stuck home and worth reading for everyone.  Go to www.annvoskamp.com and search for the article entitled "When God Calls You Out of Hiding" by  guest writer, Michelle DeRusha.  May we all answer God's calling!