All Is Well

With fog heavy with morning, the sun steadily attempts to break through, revealing shapes in the distance.  The sun will not shirk its duty but believing in its destination and purpose, will burn through, the fog will lift until day is fully born.

My sins, my worries, my doubts and my guilt are in that fog.  They are rising, dissipating and lifting up to the heavens, and I find joy, peace and contentment.  James is my book of choice this morning:

Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himsef, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.  But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgeting what he has heard, but doing it- he will be blessed in what he does. James 1:23-25

How easily to be led down a dark alley by words of condemnation, with pursuing guilt stepping on your heels.  How vain and evil the preachings of men who do not walk in truth.  How wonderful the gift of Word and the ability to study to show yourself approved!

There is no one, no thing, no thought or word that can keep one from knowing God and being known by Him.   Earnest searching and prayer for wisdom and understanding brings forth a contrite heart, Godly sorrow, the request of forgiveness, and the power of faith in Him, heralding a joy in the morning with renewed vigor to work for Him.

No doubt there will be other valleys to walk through during my journey, but rejoicing will surely arrive.  Time spent in the Word gives hope to the hopeless, joy to the joyless, and strength to the weak.  My weaknesses may be many, but time in weakness brings me and my burdens to lay at His feet, and faith is replenished with joy and contentment.

Sometimes life seems hard to bear

Full of sorrow, trouble and woe.

It's then I have to remember...

That it's in the valleys I grow.

Lord, may I never stop growing in your truths, your love and your promises.  May my life's path be the one you have choosen for me, and may I learn from my valleys as I lean on you.  May I never be content to rely upon man's judgment, but forever seek you and love you with all my heart, all my soul, all my strength and all my mind.

Keep on Seeking

Day of gentle, falling rain turns gray, without definition or warmth.  Introspection settles in, of questions unanswered and anguish gone unabated.  The toil of study, search and the yearning for truth exhausts and discourages.  Oh, for a neatly written, concise and precise instruction to float from the sky and deliver into upturned hand. 

To give up is not an option, because the desire to please Him is strong and vital.  The search for truth is never ending, because maturity brings beauty and ugliness to light, and a deeper knowledge brings more responsibility and constant change.

Another jewel pops in my email, and again I am amazed at His timing, His constant encouragement, and by the startling knowledge that He knows me, hears me, and loves me.

"The great and mighty things that God wants to show you are often the

answers to prayers that you have prayed. Keep on asking, keep on seeking, keep on knocking—answers will come, doors will be opened, promises will be fulfilled." - Roy Lessin



Are They Real?

Silhouettes are almost always peaceful, delineating but not challenging.  Crisp, black and white forms with no blemishes, nothing harsh but pleading in its simplicity.  Flat surface.  No depth.  Featureless.

 

The word silhouette comes from the name of Louis XV's finance minister, Etienne de Silhouette. The wealthy blamed Silhouette for the taxes and fees placed upon them because of the financial difficulties caused by the Seven Years' War. Silhouette enjoyed making cut paper profile portraits, and he spent his retirement years decorating his home with them. These portraits soon became associated with his name.

Watching the sun set from my window, the light fading degree by degree, my view was that of rolling hills with the silhouette of cattle continuing their monotonous munching of grass.  I likened it to that scene in Gone With the Wind where Rhett and Scarlett are fleeing the burning city of Atlanta.  Yes, I know, the creatures were different but the silhouettes were no less riveting.

Reaching the grand age of 62, I find I do not want to be a silhouette.  I have blemishes and harsh edges and a past and a life and guilt and a love that I do not want to keep in shadow. 

I have a creator who loves me in spite of the above...maybe because of the above.  I have a purpose and God has a plan.  I cannot stay in shadow but I must open myself up to be glared upon, talked about and accepted or rejected.  I will not be painted into silhouette but will rejoice in color and full bloom.  I will work for Him.



Looking back...

Little houses side by side...row houses.  Acres and acres of white cotton with dots of black at plant height.  Loving  mammies...seemingly faithful, dependable and cherished...from a child's point of view. 

Fast forward to children playing together, white and black, my child and possibly yours.  Feelings of maturity, honestly, kindness, understanding and fairness permeate my efforts at raising my child.  Then comes the swimming pool.  And the request to swim with my child.  The head reels, the throat restricts, the bumbling excuse escapes my lips and even as I hear the sounds aloud, I am filled with self-loathing and shame.   

Fast forward 30 years.  I am secretly stunned at the cowardice staining the whiteness of this cloak I wear, this shield of Christianity that keeps me from allowing any prejudice to taint my treatment of others.

My self-ascribed notion of fairness fared poorly in the face of reality, primarily because although it was built on Biblical instruction, it was warped by man's interpretation of how and when to apply. 

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female,

 for you are all one in Christ Jesus.  (Gal. 3:28 ESV)

Racism is learned behaviour, revealing a prideful spirit that dares to judge God of errant creation, of giving lie to scripture.  Debated and thrashed and thought to be buried in our history, careful observation reveals it to be the silent conviction ready to color our thoughts and receptors to lending a hand. 

How can we honestly support world missions and not be open to local racial and ethnic groups?   To love one another means looking past physical and mental  attributes and loving a soul created by our Lord.  It was not God's command that we go into the world and change all culture into one, but to teach each and every one the Word of God.   

I can say that now.  I could have said it then.  But when faced directly, I bowed out.  While not possible to re-do that day, I am deeply remorseful that I turned that child away because I was afraid of what people might say...of how my own child might be perceived.   

Having just finished reading "The Help", one sentence stands out:  "These is white rules.  I don't know which ones you following and which ones you ain't." 

I don't want to follow rules...I just want to follow my heart...as long as it is the heart of Christ.  If I do, only love will follow and there will be no room for prejudice.