Disjointed musings...

A moth flitters above the water, seemingly to drink but obviously in trouble.  The delicate wings prove to be weak when encumbered with moisture, while the effort remains great to reach dry land. 


To escape a cat, a mouse lies dangerously still...but watchful for the feline's attention to be captured by a falling leaf or whistle of wind.  Scurrying away, the cat leaps to snag the tail of the mouse, only to let it loose again.  A game to the cat, but life and death to the mouse.


A young deer, unable to jump the fence, paces and peers through at her mother on the other side.  The mother exhibits no concern, but the fawn is deeply distressed and frantic, continuing her search for a way through.


The fear of our demise is real.  The horror of desertion can debilitate and wound. 


Life journeys teach independence, self reliance, even to the exclusion of family ties and community life.  God journeys teach dependence, grace and service in the name of love.  But what in this universe plants any desire to know God, much less know of His promises?

"The burning bush is right in front of us some days and we don't even know it!"  (Bryan Basham)

Is our view of religion one of "a psychological crutch required by neurotic people to enable them better face the rigours of life?"  Is our self-worth and independence so vital that no space exists to reflect any inadequacy on our part...or horrors... any error.

There contains a poem, "The Hound of Heaven", penned by Francis Thompson (1859-1907) which begins:

I fled Him, down the nights and down the days;
  I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
  Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears
I hid from Him, and under running laughter.

 

How can we know from whence we run but that the Lord God will know and find and bring us back.  Back to His truths, His way, His plan...for He will not be thwarted, overcome or undone.  He will always be the one we long for, search for and listen for.  He is the object of our inconsolable longing, for which there is no water to quench our thirst. 

How big is our God?  Bigger than our deeper fear, bigger than any loss, bigger than life itself.  And He pursues us!  In the last words of Mr. Thompson's poem:

Is my gloom, after all,
Shade of His hand, outstreched caressingly?
  "Ah, fondest, blindest, weakest,
  I am He Whom thou seekest!
Thou dravest love from thee, who dravest Me."

Remembering Granny

She didn't have to be nice to me, didn't have to ensure I was included, loved, felt a part of the family.  She didn't have to love my child.  But she did because an honest, open, loving heart allows nothing else.

To attain the highest level of virtue describes the Proverbs 31 woman.  Granny's picture should be beside this chapter.

Mother to six, grandmother to thirteen, great-grandmother to ten, and a wonderful mother-in-law to women who adored her, respected her and sought to emulate.  A loving and caring wife to her husband, to whom all respect was rendered even unto his death.  A life of high morals, generosity, service and abundant faith.  Even when the memory of her own children left her, she still remembered God and how to pray and be thankful. 

Never one to meddle with her children's lives or make demands, a phone call concerning a particular family gathering, made apparent the event was important to her and became your pleasure to show up.

A maker of fine yeast rolls, she shared with me another recipe I've used many times.  Having no name, she had laughed and said, "Oh, we just call it the dying casserole!"  Because you couldn't pass from this earth that Granny wouldn't cook for the family a very filling and tasty dish, that has since graced many a table and not a few church potluck dinners of my own.

Loved and respected by all who knew her, leaving a great legacy and happy memories.  No doubt this graceful lady knew her family loved her, but I'm pretty sure the Lord loved her more.

Geraldine Chapman Evans

January 27, 1925 - October 5, 2011

I Know I'm In Jail...

A voice called to me as I entered...Help, help me!  I know I'm in jail, but I don't know where I'm supposed to be!"  Earnest words punctuated with fearful eyes and more than a hint of exasperation.  A heart that was willing but a mind that was struggling to make sense.  Accepting of circumstances, yet perplexed in the rules.  Unaware of what was "allowed" to help, I offered words of assurance while knowing they fell far short.

While the ending of our days is unknown in circumstance and time, the cowardly part of me grips the image of falling asleep and not awakening.  The imprisonment of mind and total confusion are not part of my image...yet the possibility is real.

Knowing your loved one might be experiencing pain, confusion, helplessness and loss tears at the lining of your heart, blurting Help! to the Lord above for healing, peace and comfort.  Suddenly, the question of why, Lord, why let my loved one suffer?...becomes a moment of clarity and insight.  The precious lady in her wheelchair this morning probably has no memory of her confusion or fright.  But the sight of her and the numerous others present at our service became, for me, one of compassion, love and service.  Knowing no one person residing at that nursing home mattered not in how I viewed each one, how precious each soul, and how gracious and beautiful each heart.

Pictures float through my mind...smiles of acknowlegment when hearing a familiar hymn...words of gratitude for being able to hear the song leader and speaker...eys holding steady on the our young children present...hands reaching out for the placemats made by the children. 

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you.  I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.  Isaiah 46:3-5

No, God had not left these loved ones to finish out their lives in solitude...He left us to care for them, provide for them and love them.  Better yet, to realize the gift of life, how we spend it and how we value it.  Praise God who knows every good thing, giving us what we need, loving us in such measure to the point of overflowing and showing us how to not waste a drop!