The Cross Unto Resurrection

Witnessing the event was sickening, unbelievable and devastating.  Never once did we conceive of the idea he would be killed...suffering a horrendous death and then buried in a tomb not even his own.

    The hours dragged by, and some of us fled because we could bear it no more.  Watching the sweat and blood pour from his body, crying out for relief from His Father.  He was to be King, our Deliverer.  And it has come to this?

    And then his words echoed in our ears:

“And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Matt. 10:38-39)

    His cross?  This cross?  The one before us set between two criminals, the wooden beast made of humiliation and shame?  My Lord, don’t you know I love you?  Is it necessary that I die for you?  My Lord, do you ask too much of me?

    And then came that terrifying moment when “Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit.”
    Hope was gone.  All was lost.  And the longest night of our lives had begun.
  
    Our bewilderment came the next morning, when the women found his borrowed tomb empty!  And later, witnessing Jesus Himself walking, talking, eating and showing the wounds on his hands and side!
    Once again, His words returned,

    “From that time Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised.” (Matt. 16:21)

    Oh, my Lord, how did we not understand?  We...no!  I was too concerned about setting up your kingdom and how it should be!  I wondered where I would stand, where I would sit when you took your rightful throne of power.

    Oh, yes, I heard your words, yet did not understand.  I witnessed, yet did not know.  When I could finally fit the pieces together, I grieved for your presence; I sobbed for another chance to sit at your feet to listen and learn.



    Forgive my doubting, my Lord, forgive my selfishness and my fears.  Know, Lord, that I will follow you even unto death.  I will praise your name, I will proclaim your sacrifice and salvation, and I will not rest until I have done your will.  I will take your cross, Lord, and bear it gladly.  For you are my savior, my redeemer, the holy lamb of God!

Too Much My Way

Freedom - a word conveying lightness of load, but carrying much responsibility.

A domesticated bird lives safely within the confines of its cage, but the desire to soar soundlessly and weightless on the waves of the wind are ever present.

The freedom of choices we make, the words we utter, the actions we take are never self-contained, but rather reach out to those around us and settle in places maybe never forseen.

Freedom is precious and worth defending, but taken within the realm of my brothers and sisters, my freedom may be harmful to yours.

Therefore, I am free to voice my opinion, but not to habitually bind it on another.  

I am free to believe or disbelieve, but not to harass another to make my point.

I am free to loosen the hold CONTROL has over my heart...instead listening with compassion and reacting in love.

I am free to live life joyfully, unashamed of my faith - yet knowing every moment holds learning experiences - keeping my mind full of God's promises to lead and convict, with humility and an eagerness to admit my faults and transgressions.

Freedom is worth nothing unless Christ is in it and in me.  May we always act, react, and engage each other within the definition of freedom that Jesus spoke. 

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”  Gal. 5:13-14

Knowing My Commitment

As a child, I had no idea my responsibilities as part of the family, but that came with time and age, parental teaching, doing and learning.

As a twelve year old, giving my life to Christ seemed effortless.  Commitment was a word known and the meaning recited but not tested.

As a teen, commitment to my family was clouded with self-serving ideas and entitlement.  Commitment was confused.

As a young married, struggling to commit to a husband waged battle over the separation from parents and siblings.  Commitment was threatened.

As a young mother, the love and devotion to a daughter seemed easy, but the struggle to make wise decisions sometimes frightening.  But commitment took first place even at the expense of self.

As a grandmother, the commitment to grandchildren is more joy than responsibility, more happy than sad, and more valuable than life.


As a caregiver, commitment takes on a greater role, more demanding and relentless, tiring and oftentimes dispiriting.

Each phase takes on more awareness, more learning, more commitment than the one before.    

The value of life and the wonder of the Creator of life grow with each passing year, transcending through each change as this life matures and reflects.  

The Word I read, the Word I hear...even the Word I doubt...produces change in attitude, in belief, in action, and in...commitment. 

Father God, as I commit myself to your power and mighty hand, guide me through the days of change and allow Your Glory to shine through the good and the bad.  Give us all strength for the day, and may we ever see the path You set before us.  I am thankful you hear my prayer, through the holy name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

 

Depths of Love

Startling, those big eyes wide and just inches from my face.  His lips were speaking to me but the mind was busily whisking me away along memories of a young boy's days of giggles and kisses and unabashed love for his grandmother.

Of fishing with plastic fish...for hours and hours!


Of an early and steadfast love for trains and all that pertain, where the distant view of a railroad trestle as we traveled would send him to unearthly degrees of joy and anticipation.


Of questions and discussions sacred to grandparents alone, feeling the gravity and responsibility of being the object of such affection.

But those eyes staring deep into mine...and I am lost in the blessedness of belonging, of loving, of being in the presence of such a one as this.

Oh, Father, I plead with you to keep this budding 13 year old in the safety of your arms, equipping him with compassion for others and a deep, abiding love for you always.  Help me as I strive to be an example for him and all my grandchildren, to teach the depths of your love for us all.

 

  

Remembering a Friend

How much time is required for love to extend and expand, for enjoyment to commence, and loyalties to grow?  Some we meet in passing and later wish we had pursued a closer relationship.  Some we are given as a bright light across our path, never fully appreciating until that light is blotted out.

Our everyday words and actions flow out and about, affecting those of which we are often unaware.  Smiles taken as encouragement, uplifting a spirit entangled in life's struggles, is sometimes enough to continue the journey.  

A presence of solid rock, dependable and sure, enables the floundering to take hold and survive.

A woman of faith is a pleasure, a stature of dignity and grace.  Dispensing love with abandon, nurturing in abundance, she girds herself with an allegiance to family and friends alike.

And when she's gone, her absence leaves a vacancy no one can fill.

 Remembering those who took on the servant's role, loved the Lord and brought others to Him.  So thankful for their example, their friendship and for the families they helped to raise.

Betty Brown Crigger

12/3/37 - 06/26/16

Boundaries

The walls of my heart have boundaries...there are hidden things the likes you will never know.  

Secrets, only known by me and by God.

Some boundaries are self-made, intentionally erected and strong enough to sustain any intrusions.  Others are emotion-driven, self preservation attempts, instilled from past experiences and oftentimes failures.

Some boundaries appear when trust takes a back seat...or completely leaves the vehicle. 

 

Other boundaries come when disappointment rides rough shod over the best of intentions, making for strained relationships and you head for the loneliness and pity sections of your heart, vowing to never darken the doors again.

Healthy boundaries are allowable, even needed, but when boundaries lead to cynicism...beware.  When distrust rules the day, safety and security leave and respect crumbles.  Then anger fills in the crevices, followed by a callous heart, devoid of compassion and understanding...and forgiveness.

To let evil erect boundaries in my heart is not only dangerous but sinful.  To put all trust in anyone other than God is futile. 

Father God, please do not let me erect boundaries against you, but let me trust in you completely.  Help me to close my ears to the negative one who wants to tear down and destroy.  For you are my refuge and in you only can I find the calming peace for mind and soul.  

Life Spanning

There was once a time of innocence, when every second revolved around the most trivial, but mainly bracketed to the oneness of me.  Where familial was a house lived in and carried like an invisible cloak.

Where love flourished but taken for granted, and appearances wafted about in the periphery...there for the sharing or not.

Where personality developed, awareness took roots, and life ran through hoops, sharp turns and hilly terrain.

That terrain ran with lessons hard learned, bad decisions mingling with the good, and the race tiring.  Life is hard.

Looking is not always seeing.  Hearing is not always understanding.

Believing often leads not to committing.

Time that had once seemed interminable now speeds along as one chasing the wind...with reflections and wonders of the loss of it.

Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. 

~ Proverbs 19:20

But maturity and wisdom begin to reign and take its rightful place in life, for the Creator forgets not His own and restores what is broken.

I've filled my days with details

And all the choices of the earth

Carried the yoke of worry

And all the burdens that it brings

So through the midst of all the rushing

You whisper to our hearts

And with Your sweet voice

You say to us

  To be still and know You are God  To be still and know You are God  Just to rest in Your arms

So give me peace and wisdom

To know how to fill my time

Where I can learn to keep You

At the centre of my life

So through the midst of all the rushing

There is time to spend with You

And my foundation

Will daily be

Written by: David Gate