Awesome Power

A week of horror.  Days of voices of doom until the anticipation was painful but the reality far worse. 

I have had a fear of storms since I can remember.  I have very early memories of making a mad dash for the storm cellar (which seemed far, far away), with lightening flashing all around and the wind swirling...only to arrive in the blackest black, smelling of deep earth and the feel of many spider webs catching in my hair.  Absolute nightmare.  I think many people would have appreciated that storm cellar  in the last couple of days.

Watching videos of tornadoes touching down in Alabama and other states is fearsome and unbelievable.  The devastation is heart breaking, and that's from viewing from afar.  I cannot imagine the shock of seeing your neighborhood flattened, of being unable to account for family members or friends.  My heart aches for the loss these people are experiencing, not to mention the injuries and the deaths. 

When I see the total destruction from the sheer power of a tornado, I think, what could be worse than that.  These tornadoes, I fear.  Most people do.  Most will heed the warnings given and take cover to protect their lives.  Yes, much power in a tornado.  We recognize it and fear it. 

But there is a power more fearsome than a tornado.  Our God is an awesome God, with more power than anything we can imagine.  Fear Him.  We need to heed His warnings and protect our souls from devastation.  We need to give Him the respect we give the terrible storms. 

Lord, I ask you to wrap each person affected by these storms in your loving arms, giving them peace and strength to get through the days ahead.  May each one recognize that you are all powerful and all loving and that their faith in you grow as they lean on you.  In the name of Jesus.

And This is My Prayer...

There's a young girl missing.  I don't know her personally but she's tugging at my heart.  Lots of people are searching for her.  Have been for some days now.  A public prayer event has been issued on Facebook for tomorrow, the 20th, at 11:30.  I plan "to attend."

A member of my family is missing also.  Oh, physically, she's there.  But spiritually, she's lost.  She's lost her way in this world, spiraling into the abyss and has no idea how painful it will be.  Words bounce off and fall away because physical desire and nearsightedness are consuming her and the voice of truth cannot be heard...and I am so afraid.  No public prayer event has been organized but prayers have been offered by many in her family circle.

Prayer.  Much talked about, much requested.  A verse in Mark has been coming to me in email, Facebook postings, devotionals...you name it.  I seem to have been bombarded with it.

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.  (Mark 11:24)

 ...believe that you have received it...Faith with a capital "F"!  Oh, Lord, how do I reconcile my wants and needs, for myself or others, with Your will?  How do I let my faith soar to higher heights when what I pray for may be selfish, self-serving, convenient, or even comfortable, if I do not predicate my plea with Thy will be done in all things? 

I want and I pray for Holly to be found in good health and brought safely home.  I desperately want my niece to wake up to her deteriorating life and recognize her creator and do His will.  But how can I know the plans He has? He knows things I cannot know.  He sees things I cannot see.  My faith in God tells me when I ask for guidance and wisdom, He will provide me what I need.  I pray tonight that He gives these two young women what they need at this hour, this day, His will be done.

Feeling Adrift But Still Tethered

Time.  Effort.  Energy.  Accomplishment.  Beneficial?  Constructive?

I have an on-going debate in my head.  I go through motions and wonder if I have a heathy balance or distorted sense of importance.  I miss continuity, the pleasure of sameness, the pleasure of being and of belonging.  I ache for the day of spiritual purpose as my heart and mind seeks the will of God through prayer and watchfulness.  I feel somewhat adrift.

Setting your house in order after a move is essential but robs you of precious time, energy and good humor.  Don't get me wrong, I am no different from you, and my desire to have a presentable home is my goal where my family and friends can gather and feel comfortable.  But where do I draw the line in the importance of "presentable" before it becomes too much a "focus in myself."  Where do I draw the line in taking pleasure in material things and items of comfort for myself and my husband?  How do I know when ordinary care becomes an obsession?

I think I know.

When I have nagging, persistent thoughts that I am neglecting my spiritual soul, that my time usually spent in Bible study is decreasing instead of increasing, that I am craving the fellowship of my sisters in Christ...then I KNOW I am focusing too much on the world and not enough on my Lord.  Hurried prayers are sometimes essential, but are not a substitute for devoted, thankful, concentrated, and yes, even gut-wrenching pleas of direction and guidance.

“All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up." (1 Cor. 10:23)  Yes, Paul, I see what you mean.  Setting up my home is good and necessary, and even my duty as a wife.  I want my husband to be content in his home, and I know my efforts are to reflect God's glory...whoa, what?  To the glory of God!  "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."  (Col. 3:17) 

What a blessing to be able to go the Word and instantly be edified and comforted!  To know that our God sees my internal struggles and provides for me while I'm not looking!  Just as I know this home will eventually be "done" and the moving completed, He will provide the church family that I yearn for here, for the sweet sisters waiting on a new relationship, for new doors to open and for opportunity to grow in His spirit. 

With tears stinging my eyes at the thought of God's love and compassion...on me of all people...as the sun rises through the windows of this room, I am renewed with hope.  I can balance my life...purpose will return...as whatever I do, in word or deed, I do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, and give thanks to God the Father through Him!

Counting Blessings in Hard Places

It was not my best day.   It was not in "my control."  It was not my best "I'm going to be thankful in every circumstance" effort to see God's face in every direction of my life.

Granted, moving is hard work; remodeling before moving is hard work; keeping stress down to a minimum for both my husband and myself is hard work.  The best laid plans of mice and men - that sort of thing, you know?  And did I mention the hour and 40 minute drive back and forth to coordinate, choose, clean, solve or mediate between different laborers?  The seemingly endless miles of traveling, knowing there is umpteen hundred things I could be doing at home, like sorting, packing, throwing out,  cleaning out - and maybe even do a little office work inbetween? 

Oh, the pity party is just getting started!  With mind racing, and the clock ticking slowly in the wee hours of the morning, with spur-riddled spine speaking to me with each turn, I yearn for that meditative hour of simply being, of thankfulness, of oneness, of joy, of contentment.  How do I count my blessings always?  I read I Thess. 5:16-18:

¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances;

for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

There it is, one little word..."in".  In all circumstances, not for all circumstances.  Okay, I get that, I can do that.  But before my resentful anger and discontent rise to the surface, can I respond with thanks instead of such loud thoughts and words?  Can I look at upheavals and annoyances and see grace and gifts of blessings instead?

I have come to think that counting your blessings in all circumstances must come with practice.  Practice being thankful first.  Choose being thankful first.  Because everything is a choice...every word, every action...every thought?  Yes.  I choose to seek His will; I choose to align my thoughts with His; and I choose joy, contentment and thankfulness. 

Practice.  I'm going to pray and practice. 

What Appears to Me...

The river appears very still this morning, with the gulls fluttering in and out of the scene outside my window, the opposite hill and trees reflected in the mirror image of the water.  Occasionally, you will see the ripple appear and slowly dissipate where a fish has disturbed the evenness of the water.  If I didn't know this river, if I hadn't experienced the current itself, I would never know that it runs even now under that stillness, that fish and other aquatic life are active in their quest for food.  It never stops.  But to the observer above, it is all calmness and serenity.

Every person I see today will present an exterior that can be camouflaging a turbulent interior or truly a gentle spirit.  Only God knows for sure.  I can wrongly judge a person's intent, attitude, purpose, conviction or desire.  I can place him or her in a category unfairly determined or inappropriately justified, because I base my opinion on what I see, hear or smell.  Can anyone know the true nature of another human being without being biased by our own experiences, convictions or emotions?

Reading a great devotional today brought me to this sentence:  Knowing God's true nature is important because we become what we worship.  How can I know God's nature without knowing what He's said, what he's commanded?

I vow this day to know my God more thoroughly, to keep His words on my heart and in my mind so that my own views, my own desires do not interfere with my worship of Him, that no one or no thing ever come between me and my Father in heaven ever again.  And when I look upon this river of calm, I can reflect on my spirit actively seeking and practicing those things God has commanded in order that my nature reflect the Creator.

And Then There Were Three...

Just when you think you're full-up on joy and awe in your life,  blessed beyond anything you deserve, your arms are filled with a small bundle of new life that takes your breath away and humbles you before the Lord.  Giving birth.  Simple words, simple meaning that unless you've experienced it yourself or watched your children experience it, you cannot fathom the full measure of love.  It is instantaneous, never fully appreciated until you are struck dumb with the gift of life and your emotions spill over and you are...so...very...thankful!

We probably take childbirth for granted these days, and with the advantage of epidurals, pain is better contained.  But it cannot cover up the sheer joy and wonderment of knowing you have nourished that baby inside your body, giving birth to a tiny human with perfectly formed limbs, still totally dependent on mother and dad's care and protection.

I was fortunate and blessed yesterday to see our newest grandson born into this world, Elijah Reed Evans, giving Mark and Erin a total of three beautiful boys.  Even though we are counties away from him today, I envision his tiny face and the intent way he looked and listened to whoever was holding him.  To do so brings me renewed joy and happiness and I thank God for blessing us so!

Whoever says birth is not a miracle has not considered the delicate process only God could create, the intricate design of nourishment and growth within the womb...and the marvelous bonding of one unseen!  

My prayer for this child is immeasurable love of the Lord, that his future be secure with the promises only God can provide.  I have no doubt that his parents will bring him up in God's instruction, that they will love him unconditionally as God loves us.  

It's a beautiful day today, little Eli, and you are much loved! 

 

Perspective is Relative

"Everything's relative."  Years ago, I worked in a small office with a guy who had a habit of saying that, like it was the answer to all life's questions.  It was annoying, really.  But whether it was because he said it so many times that it became imbedded in my mind, or whether he actually gave me something worthwhile to think about, I remember his words and they come to me at unexpected times.

During these dreary, snowy, cold days, I struggle to keep busy and not snuggle back in my bed.  I am not motivated nor am I content.  The few times the sun has broken through the glum, I am immediately more energetic, and my spirits are raised considerably.  See, everything's relative!

Living with chronic back pain is not easy (I'm not really changing gears...stay with me!).  Dealing with it and knowing there is no answer to your health problem is frustrating and depressing, draining you of energy better spent elsewhere.  If you aren't careful, your whole life becomes centered around the pain and self-pity for your circumstance.

Then you learn of a good friend who has developed seizures (with no

decipherable underlying cause), which has the ability to take hours from each day of her life, being unable to control them and literally making her a prisoner in her own home.  Suddenly, my back pain is less painful.

Then you think of another good friend who battles MS every single minute of every single day and night - without complaint, I might add.  Suddenly, my problems seem really small and I start...

...praying for my friends who are battling illnesses, for those who have lost their jobs, their homes, their loved ones; counting my blessings, being thankful for the very air I breathe, for the ability to get up out of bed each day to either work or play with my grandchildren, for being a child of God, and I...

...forget...my...back...pain.  

Wasn't our God just the smartest when He taught us to put others first, to love our neighbor as ourselves?  You see, he knew what would happen when we did that.  Our pains, our discomforts and disappointments fade when we use our energies toward others...and I'm pretty sure that's all relative.