Time Changes

Time as a noun is defined as the measured or measurable period during which an action, process, or condition exists or continues...i.e., duration.  As in, non-sleep.  Which is where I am at present.  After a particularly busy day, certainly tired enough to drop off into oblivion, how can time stand still with eyes glued to the ceiling?  How does the brain miss the timely signs of nightly rest when the remainder of this body knows full well the needed comfort of bed and sleep?

Instead, knowledge of a friend facing cancer surgery fills the mind and urgent prayers are lifted on his behalf...which brings to mind others facing surgery or treatment...more prayers offered.  The domino effect is raging now, and the mind races with urgent needs of friends, family, and friends of friends. 

So up out of the bed I go to precious time in the middle of the night, with only the ticking of a clock to match the clicking of the keyboard, to match the beating of a heart filled with love and hope for lives physically suffering and others grieving for lost loved ones.

Time stops for no one...except the Lord.  Joshua 10:13:
And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day.

So the dying continues, diseases ravage bodies, hearts and promises are broken.  But then births continue also, allowing laughter and joy to ring through our days, as love and hope tower above all else.  How comforting to know that what we experience, what we fear, what loss we bear has been foretold in words we can understand...

Ecclesiates 3:

     1 For there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

     2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time
        to pluck up what is planted;
     3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
     4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
     5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
        a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
     6 a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
     7 a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
     8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

We have been given time on earth and not all that time is pleasant.  Our God knew of life trials we would face and has numbered our days.  I choose this new day to remember our Creator, to live my life fully with meaning and purpose.  I choose to value my time with heart-felt prayer and thankfulness.  I choose time with God.

Season of Love

Hours, then days of frantic preparation, this litany of gift lists, menu and last second decoration...consumed in too few hours like a fast paced movie you'd rather not end.  The energy level sinks among tattered bits of wrapping paper, a naked tree devoid of presents, extra chairs still scattered.  Procrastination is the word for the day, as memories of the night before run through your mind like a slide show. 

The blessing of family is precious; the opportunity to be together a gift in itself.  Watching your grandchild's face light up, exclaiming "It's just what I wanted!" is heart warming and lovingly contagious. Happiness abounds and you just drink it in.

"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family

 all wrapped up in each other." - Burton Hillis

Thanking God for my life filled to the brim with a loving family, a loving Saviour and most of all for God's grace!  May Christ be a part of your lives this day and every day of the year!

Cabin Fever

Cabin fever is real.  So is bronchitis.  Next step is pneumonia which should be avoided at all costs.  Lack of medical insurance will teach you that if nothing else.

So, the lingering, lounging, endless hours go by while one thousand and two things need to be done before Christmas.  And since Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year, the plans for decorating this year would surpass anything I had ever tried in the past.  Visions of garland with red bows draping the front fence, millions or else thousands of white lights outlining the house, and snowmen and penguins dotting the landscape.  For the first time in a long time, we now lived in a place that just begs for lots of holiday delight.  Woe is me and my name is whiner.

Cabin fever does offer time for reflection...when not napping...and there is plenty of distraction.  Friends and acquaintances fighting cancer and other heartaches.  Reading blogs of women who have lost their mates and struggling to get through the holidays.  Watching videos of heart rending circumstance and courageous efforts to overcome.  Reading verses of encouragement and promise from God's Word and prayer for those suffering.

One week of cabin fever is no equal to a lifetime of suffering or a seemingly endless barrage of continuing bad news, nor is it useless. As with any time of sickness or helplessness, it is another opportunity to realize my dependence on a higher power, one who knows me and loves me and will never leave me. 

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:" (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Tomorrow, God willing, I will be able to leave this house for a short trip.  I will whine no more and I will be grateful more.

Graciousness in Despair

Let me tell you about graciousness in the form of a woman...or two.

It was a day burdened with frustration, of time spent fruitlessly and endlessly.  Traffic crept, then time,  a typical "hurry up and wait."  Anticipating surgical procedures, the lack of nourishment, and unexpected emergencies pile and stack, bringing frowns to the faces and tiredness to the eyes.  Burdened lives of physical ills are heavy to the point of despair, and we wonder "why?" and "how long". 

God uses that.

Endless waiting provides opportunities for life reflection and status of soul.  Family and friends are prompted to open discussion of spiritual things, changes of lifestyle and the need for a savior.  A small room filled with persons make intimate conversation difficult, so expressions of encouragement and exhortation carry and words fall where they may. 

God's name is heard.

Finally, her husband's surgery goes well and she feels blessed.  Another's was put on life support and she is left devastated and helpless, all the while knowing that God will see her through.  The room is immediately drawn to her sadness and offers prayers in her behalf. 

God is honored.

The first lady, my good friend, carries the burden of Multiple Sclerosis...this day and every day of her life...a progressing, debilitating disease, making the endless traversing of a hospital stay difficult and draining.  There are no complaints...not a murmur passes her lips...ever.  I stand amazed at her resiliency and humbleness in spite of her ever changing, increasing dependence on other people or things.

God uses my friend to teach me gratitude and patience.

Driving her to where she will stay overnight, I meet her sister.  Another beautiful, gracious lady who welcomes me with warmth and appreciation...all from her wheelchair, for she carries the burden of polio.  I am then introduced to her loving husband, who suffers from Alzheimer's. Some have more than their share of burdens.  But I leave with beautiful, loving smiles following me through the door and the warmth envelops me, and I simply praise God for the pleasure of knowing these beautiful souls clothed in wearisome bodies.

God is worshipped.

May we be gracious and joyful in the face of despair, knowing that God is there even then, using the bad for good, teaching and admonishing us to learn and show compassion, growing our faith and giving us endless opportunities to do good, giving thanks to our Lord for all things and trusting Him always. 

It was a day full of graciousness and I, as well as others, was indeed blessed.

Disjointed musings...

A moth flitters above the water, seemingly to drink but obviously in trouble.  The delicate wings prove to be weak when encumbered with moisture, while the effort remains great to reach dry land. 


To escape a cat, a mouse lies dangerously still...but watchful for the feline's attention to be captured by a falling leaf or whistle of wind.  Scurrying away, the cat leaps to snag the tail of the mouse, only to let it loose again.  A game to the cat, but life and death to the mouse.


A young deer, unable to jump the fence, paces and peers through at her mother on the other side.  The mother exhibits no concern, but the fawn is deeply distressed and frantic, continuing her search for a way through.


The fear of our demise is real.  The horror of desertion can debilitate and wound. 


Life journeys teach independence, self reliance, even to the exclusion of family ties and community life.  God journeys teach dependence, grace and service in the name of love.  But what in this universe plants any desire to know God, much less know of His promises?

"The burning bush is right in front of us some days and we don't even know it!"  (Bryan Basham)

Is our view of religion one of "a psychological crutch required by neurotic people to enable them better face the rigours of life?"  Is our self-worth and independence so vital that no space exists to reflect any inadequacy on our part...or horrors... any error.

There contains a poem, "The Hound of Heaven", penned by Francis Thompson (1859-1907) which begins:

I fled Him, down the nights and down the days;
  I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
  Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears
I hid from Him, and under running laughter.

 

How can we know from whence we run but that the Lord God will know and find and bring us back.  Back to His truths, His way, His plan...for He will not be thwarted, overcome or undone.  He will always be the one we long for, search for and listen for.  He is the object of our inconsolable longing, for which there is no water to quench our thirst. 

How big is our God?  Bigger than our deeper fear, bigger than any loss, bigger than life itself.  And He pursues us!  In the last words of Mr. Thompson's poem:

Is my gloom, after all,
Shade of His hand, outstreched caressingly?
  "Ah, fondest, blindest, weakest,
  I am He Whom thou seekest!
Thou dravest love from thee, who dravest Me."

Remembering Granny

She didn't have to be nice to me, didn't have to ensure I was included, loved, felt a part of the family.  She didn't have to love my child.  But she did because an honest, open, loving heart allows nothing else.

To attain the highest level of virtue describes the Proverbs 31 woman.  Granny's picture should be beside this chapter.

Mother to six, grandmother to thirteen, great-grandmother to ten, and a wonderful mother-in-law to women who adored her, respected her and sought to emulate.  A loving and caring wife to her husband, to whom all respect was rendered even unto his death.  A life of high morals, generosity, service and abundant faith.  Even when the memory of her own children left her, she still remembered God and how to pray and be thankful. 

Never one to meddle with her children's lives or make demands, a phone call concerning a particular family gathering, made apparent the event was important to her and became your pleasure to show up.

A maker of fine yeast rolls, she shared with me another recipe I've used many times.  Having no name, she had laughed and said, "Oh, we just call it the dying casserole!"  Because you couldn't pass from this earth that Granny wouldn't cook for the family a very filling and tasty dish, that has since graced many a table and not a few church potluck dinners of my own.

Loved and respected by all who knew her, leaving a great legacy and happy memories.  No doubt this graceful lady knew her family loved her, but I'm pretty sure the Lord loved her more.

Geraldine Chapman Evans

January 27, 1925 - October 5, 2011

I Know I'm In Jail...

A voice called to me as I entered...Help, help me!  I know I'm in jail, but I don't know where I'm supposed to be!"  Earnest words punctuated with fearful eyes and more than a hint of exasperation.  A heart that was willing but a mind that was struggling to make sense.  Accepting of circumstances, yet perplexed in the rules.  Unaware of what was "allowed" to help, I offered words of assurance while knowing they fell far short.

While the ending of our days is unknown in circumstance and time, the cowardly part of me grips the image of falling asleep and not awakening.  The imprisonment of mind and total confusion are not part of my image...yet the possibility is real.

Knowing your loved one might be experiencing pain, confusion, helplessness and loss tears at the lining of your heart, blurting Help! to the Lord above for healing, peace and comfort.  Suddenly, the question of why, Lord, why let my loved one suffer?...becomes a moment of clarity and insight.  The precious lady in her wheelchair this morning probably has no memory of her confusion or fright.  But the sight of her and the numerous others present at our service became, for me, one of compassion, love and service.  Knowing no one person residing at that nursing home mattered not in how I viewed each one, how precious each soul, and how gracious and beautiful each heart.

Pictures float through my mind...smiles of acknowlegment when hearing a familiar hymn...words of gratitude for being able to hear the song leader and speaker...eys holding steady on the our young children present...hands reaching out for the placemats made by the children. 

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you.  I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.  Isaiah 46:3-5

No, God had not left these loved ones to finish out their lives in solitude...He left us to care for them, provide for them and love them.  Better yet, to realize the gift of life, how we spend it and how we value it.  Praise God who knows every good thing, giving us what we need, loving us in such measure to the point of overflowing and showing us how to not waste a drop!